Monday, August 21, 2006

Ambiguous Relationships

Okay, let’s talk for a second about those wonderfully ambiguous relationships.

Relationships that are not quite defined, and haven’t been for a period of time. Relationships that we are positive will “eventually” work out into boyfriend and girlfriend status.

I can vividly recall hoping and wishing that if I didn’t push he would realize what an absolute gem I was and want me for himself. Sadly – my fantasy did not coincide with reality. Instead, he just ended up dating someone else.

Why are so scared that if we push the relationship status then they’ll leave us? Maybe we are not secure in the fact that this is an adult relationship. Instead, we are acting as though we can’t handle their disfavor. He is not someone that you must go to lengths to please.

We are forever moping and whining about desiring clarity in a relationship – but if we are perfectly honest with each other sometimes we don’t truly want it. Ambiguity leaves room for hope. If you do ask a man that you are seeing for absolute clarity you are open to disappointment and rejection. There is not one person who willingly desires experiencing those feelings – so for many of us it is far simpler to leave the question unanswered for a bit.

This is especially true if you really, really, really like this particular person. Who wants to erase the possibilities? At least you can console yourself with the fact that perhaps, in the future something may work out. I’m not saying that this is wrong – I’ve been there. Heck, I'm here now. If this is what works for you, tell the truth. Don’t complain to your friends about not knowing where this is going. ‘Cause for now you don’t really want to know. You can confront or keep hoping - either way it's not easy.

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