You've Got to be Kidding ME!!

Ugggggh!!! This is not a cry of anger. It's more like a shriek of disgust!!! Have you ever found out something about someone that makes you literally sick? Like for real - I'm almost totally nauseated. Maybe revolted is a better word.

Needless to say, any modicum of interest I had in this person is completely eradicated.

Oh, by the way, I'm talking about that "Glimpses" guy. Goodness, I just got a chill thinking about it....anyway, for anyone wondering how I feel - this is it.

I'm irrevocably done.

Here's the last journal entry I wrote regarding him - there will be no more....


Glimpses 8

(laugh) who knows how long this will go on! I’ve had a very traumatizing experience this week, and it’s only by the grace of God that I escaped physically unscathed. And its got me seriously thinking about my emotional well-being – and whether or not I’m sooo lonely and desperate for company that I am willing to knowingly make bad decisions. I cried continually all the way home.

I was mad at myself and mad at him….which, incidentally makes no sense. But my reasoning was that if something had happened – he wouldn’t even care. I called him a week ago and asked him to call me when he got a moment, and I have yet to hear from him. Basically, it solidified the fact that he doesn’t care about me. And frankly, I don’t even want to talk about the different levels of feelings – I know that he cares on some small level – but nothing serious enough to check up on me knowing that its been hard.

I can’t rely on him – God forbid that something came up and I needed him – basically, I’d be stranded. I’m really trying to be done making these rash and silly (stupid) decisions based upon my feelings. Obviously, actions speak louder than words – and his actions are glaringly telling me to back off – he’s not interested. Fine. It’s time I grow up and stop fantasizing about someone who doesn’t care about me.