I was thinking about how we are taught from birth what is acceptable and what isn’t. It came from a jumble of assorted things this week – including religion, my friend who just had a baby, and another interesting book I’m reading. And it dawned on me that almost everything we do is based on fear. Fear of not being accepted or gaining approval from our family, friends, and wider community.
The child learns that when it (sorry, the he/she thing is too cumbersome) puts its toys away they get an ensuing smile or pat on the back from the parents – and in some cases maybe even a gift, candy, etc… But if that same child throws food across the room or toys at someone’s head – they are punished – whether it’s as small as a frown, timeout, or a spanking.
This never stops. As we get older we usually conform to societal norms or rebel against them. Either way – we are still being controlled.
Anywho, I’ve been on this different mental tip for a while. It started with religion – recognizing that almost all major religions are based on being rewarded in the end. Basically, if I do A, B and C then I will get to heaven, paradise, nirvana, absolute peace, whatever it is – but if I don’t then I’m going to suffer and be completely miserable. Not saying some of the morals and values inherent in religion are bad, but the motivating force between the “organized” group is to scare people. Is it because that’s what we respond to? That if there were no “good” or “bad”, “heaven” or “hell” we wouldn’t be able to operate???
Just trying to recognize the real reason I do stuff – for me or other people?
Something to think about…
The child learns that when it (sorry, the he/she thing is too cumbersome) puts its toys away they get an ensuing smile or pat on the back from the parents – and in some cases maybe even a gift, candy, etc… But if that same child throws food across the room or toys at someone’s head – they are punished – whether it’s as small as a frown, timeout, or a spanking.
This never stops. As we get older we usually conform to societal norms or rebel against them. Either way – we are still being controlled.
Anywho, I’ve been on this different mental tip for a while. It started with religion – recognizing that almost all major religions are based on being rewarded in the end. Basically, if I do A, B and C then I will get to heaven, paradise, nirvana, absolute peace, whatever it is – but if I don’t then I’m going to suffer and be completely miserable. Not saying some of the morals and values inherent in religion are bad, but the motivating force between the “organized” group is to scare people. Is it because that’s what we respond to? That if there were no “good” or “bad”, “heaven” or “hell” we wouldn’t be able to operate???
Just trying to recognize the real reason I do stuff – for me or other people?
Something to think about…
4 comments:
I ask myself that everyday when I go to class.
But sometimes, you realize that the real reason you do stuff is for other people - and this necessarily isn't a bad thing. You do nice things for your parents (hopefully) because you care about them - arguably, that's a combination of fulfilling your interest and theirs at the same time.
And such is one of my major problems with organized religion...
we are made to veel like we have to do X and then experience guilt if you DON'T do X -- and the guilt is likely based on fear of not getting a reward that is premised on X -- whether that be eternal damnation or whatever. What happened to just living for the day, dude? I mean at the end of the fucking day or life or whatever who really knows what exactly "X" consists of -- it seems to me that ultimately we all sort of act with the end in mind. If a person KNOW WITHOUT A DOUBT that there is no hell (which, no one does, but obviously many people are quite convinced) I think this has major implications for day to day behavior. I mean, some people are good just because they are. but i think a lot of people are kept in line by "fear" of hell/damnation as a result of organized religion.
oh my religious issues...
and a JAP is a "Jewish American Princess" -- you know, the nasally, conceited, chanel and tiffany's wearing, coach purse toting set...often spotted by their proclivity for complaining...
Very interesting comments so far. If you feel that the reason why religions are that way, that is the problem. It is not about the religion but it should be about the relationship. When people genuinely do things nice in relationship, it is not because of trouble or the reward it is because of love and see that person happen. As a Christian, I feel that to many people have religion problems and if people, dealt with a relationship with God and obey his commandments because we love him, then it becomes not about the consequences but about how we love God and want to follow him. He died for everyone showing his love, though most of the world either don't acknowledge him or don't show genuine love. If we had the love that God had for us, this wouldn't be the issue
Anon from VA
Thanks you guys - really good comments...
AALS - I agree that some things are done out of love - it's the "fear factor" that concerns me.
CiC - You've articulated my thoughts exactly. Oh, and thanks for clarification!
Anon in VA - I agree that it should be about the relationship. Unfortunately, that's often lost under the auspice of particular denominations - which is where the guilt and scare tactics begin to play a part. How would you feel if you rejected the religion/denomination you were born into?
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