I've just been thinking about the whole "good girl" liking "bad boy" phenomenon - something I've been accused of in the past. And I think I finally got a handle on it.
First of all, the phrase is completely generic and demeaning to both genders, in my opinion. But, I did realize something - the reason I can't or don't like dealing with the proverbial "good guy" is because of my own experience.
Whenever I encounter a man who I do believe genuinely likes me, but is extremely accommodating and constantly putting my needs above his own, I find him slightly untrustworthy. It's not about devaluing myself, but it's knowing that I've been there in non-romantic relationships. I've been the one to bend and give and give, never releasing the underlying resentment or anger that has built. Keeping my "good girl" facade totally intact. Not really taking responsibility for my feelings and/or being honest with my loved ones.
So, even though this may be a guy's personality, and he just is really a nice guy, I can't get over the idea that he may be hiding something....lol....I know, it's pretty bad. On the other hand, if someone is up front and completely honest, I can respect that - more so because it is something that I struggle with, even if that person is a complete jerk. Don't get me wrong - I don't like people who let it "all hang out" or anything, but who are able to clearly articulate his or her feelings in an appropriate manner....lol...whatever that is.
With that said, I usually hate the whole "opposite attracts" thing. I believe that your values and goals should at least be in sync - but I do get the idea of wholeness. Yes, I'm complete by myself, but if I meet someone who can balance my personality and vice versa I'm intrigued. I like to know that I can change and grow with someone - not necessarily being with someone who reinforces me without challenging me.
Just something I was thinking through. Any thoughts???
4 comments:
So is the reason that you aren't interested in me because i am a good guy or because I am not bad? Just wondering? I think that it is important to have someone who challenges you without you having to change them. I think you need to figure out what you want cause it seems like the problem maybe you. Some women just don't appreciate a nice man and don't know how to treat them
Ummmm...I think I know who this is??? But I'm not sure...as for the "change and grow with someone" line - I meant myself - that I can change and I can grow. I don't believe in changing people.
And I used the terms "good girl" and "bad boy" phrases because they are commonly used - I don't actually agree with putting people in categories like that - we all have our positive and negative traits...trust me - I want a good guy - I just have some issues (yes, with myself) that cause me to question motives from certain types of men....
Stop being a good girl. Good girls are boring as fuck. Come to the Bad Girls side...it's so much more fun here. Plus, you get to really appreciate those nice, big, good guys as you stake your claim all over them with your lips. And then some.
;)
stopping by to say hello. i'm here from vixen's site!
i am bumping that DMX song right now. why do good girls, like bad guys! :)
p.s. it's nice to see you're opening yourself up to discuss this. why not try being a little bit of bad and good. makes for a perfect mix :)
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