Okay, me again…lol…patience is not an easy thing! I know that God has a plan in store for me, but lately he constantly occupies my thoughts…. I was talking to my mom about it today and she had a good point. She told me not to lie to myself…obviously, I should know this by now….
But, the truth is that I don’t know what I am going to end up doing career wise…. And right now I would be willing to move to see if there is a chance for this relationship to go somewhere…and that makes me feel just a little pathetic. When it comes down to it, I am pretty old-fashioned – so I won’t do anything unless he suggests it – but that would take it to another level. Sigh….and quite honestly, though I am not fully sure of what level of commitment I want, I am even more scared of where he is in his life.
The fact is that we have both talked about getting our lives in order before even considering a relationship. But now, the relationship has changed and so have my expectations. However, reality still remains – I need to figure out what I am doing with my life!! And he has a lot going on for him right now as well….so, I really have to be patient.
The funny thing is, while God has assured me every step of the way, I am afraid that he just might lose interest! Lol – I know….i guess the fact that I have liked him off and on for such a long time causes me to question ‘does he really like me?’ lol….some serious insecurity….
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