Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. ~ Philippians 4:6I've been thinking a lot lately about what I want in life, where I want to be, who I want to be with, etc.... And it has become increasingly clear that the reason I don't seem to be satisfied is because I have not truly surrendered to God. I'm still trying to control everything. So, among other things I'm taking a dating hiatus - no men till my 25th bday. I've finally realized that I'm not ready for the man I want God to send my way. I'm so incredibly far from where I ought to be - the only Man in my life right now needs to (be) Christ. Once I'm right with Him, everything else will fall into place.
I'm tired of being a mediocre Christian - one who consciously or subconsciously pats herself on the back for being a relatively "good" person. I'm a mess - spiritually, emotionally, and physically. A friend prayed that God would heal the brokenness - and now I'm echoing it.
1 comment:
Hmmmm...good question...I definitely believe that I play a part in creating the relationships I want, but when I say truly surrender I'm talking about just "being" and allowing God to work with me, instead of constantly trying to control every aspect of my relationships - particularly romantic ones.
Part of the reason I stress so much is because I'm usually attempting to control (mentally or emotionally) others - I have certain expectations and if someone doesn't live up to it I get disappointed and am apt to cut that person out of my life - clearly not a healthy practice!
I know its a bit convoluted, but hope you understand...as for the last quote - it was actually supposed to read "the only Man in my life right now needs to BE Christ."
Thanks for asking!
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