Mr. Too Nice to Date Twice

Don't have much to say right now, except that I've been extremely bored. I love having my space, but sitting all alone in my condo waiting for deliveries that don't come on time, is not my idea of fun. Plus, I've been staying up way too late and waking up feeling miserable in the morning....go figure...

Anyway, found this article on Baggage Reclaim that pretty much articulated what I was trying to say before...something you guys are probably sick of hearing now ;o).

Here's the link:

Mr Too Nice to Date Twice

And here's the one that we often overlook...Taken from Vixen - by the way, thanks for writing about me!!! I'm gonna read it as soon as I finish posting this....lol....


Vixen’s Guide to: Dating a Nice Guy

I’ve had my share of Bad Boys but invariably, I’ve always been drawn more consistently to the Nice Guy. There is something about the old school charm, chivalrous ways and polished manners of this type of male that draws me like a moth to a flame. The term Nice Guy, has been used exclusively to categorise the gentlemen that don’t fit into the Bad Boy or any other prototype. These are the ones that will bring you flowers, call you just to say they are thinking of you, open doors and pay for all excursions with no fuss. They are the ones that your mother will approve of, and who manage to charm your family members that normally detest all the men you bring home.

First of all, if you aren’t sure that you guy is a nice guy…answer these questions to find out.

1. When you call him anytime of the day or night, does he talk to you even though you woke him up and protest when you try to get off the phone?

2. Is he always neatly dressed, clothes ironed and distinguished whenever he goes out?

3. Does he abstain from drugs, guns, excessive liquor and other substances?

4. Is his body free from excessive tattoos and piercings, gold grills and flashy jewellery?

5. Does he steer away from foul language, and swears sparingly if ever? Does he apologise when he uses curse words in front of you?

6. Does he bring you flowers for no reason at all, gifts on occasion, and remembers your favourite drinks and dessert?

7. Does he open doors for you and pull your chair back? Does he stand up whenever you leave or enter the room?

8. Does he help you carry anything heavy/bulky, does he assist with putting your coat on, does he offer to fix anything that breaks down in your place of abode?

9. Does he walk with you on the inside (with him closer to the street) when you are taking a walk through the neighbourhood?

10. Did he tell you that he loved you first? Is he vocal about his emotions and feelings?

11. Does he consider what you would like to do, and value your input in any discourse?

12. Does he put very little if any pressure on you to have sex with him?

13. Does he consider your comfort when with him, adjusting the temperature of the car/home to suit your needs, offering his jacket when it’s cold etc etc?

If majority of these are true, then hon, you are dating a Nice Guy.

Now don’t confuse a Nice Guy with a pushover. It’s not the same thing. Just because he looks after your interests and spoils you within reason doesn’t mean that you should take advantage of him. Nice guys have been taken advantage of time and time again and have learned from it. In my experience I’ve come across several nice guys that have been used and abused by the women they were with, and this has shattered a lot of their morals and values turning them into tortured, wounded souls.

Majority of Nice Guys were raised around women, they were predominantly raised by their mothers, sisters and aunts, and have managed to understand to a certain extent how women think. They sense your moods, your oncoming PMS and have learned what not to say in most situations. They are generally also more in tune with their feminine/sensitive side and might stun you with the depth of perception that they possess.

Note the following tips when dealing with Nice Guys

He generally is close to his family: He will talk to his family about you. Especially if he adores you. He will want to show you off. He will relate funny anecdotes about you and you might be surprised how much they know about you. There is nothing wrong with this, just note that if you are a super private person, you might want to let him know before he starts bragging about you to his friends and family.

He is generally close to his mom and the influential women in his life: He probably has a female best friend, is friends with his ex or a lady friend that he is very close to. If you happen to be a green-eyed sort, reel those jealous feelings in sweetie…to him these are platonic relationships. However, if your sixth sense is telling you something is up, please pay attention. In the same vein, if the women in his life don’t like you….it might cause issues. Deal with them carefully as if you were approaching a mother bear. They want to protect him for the ‘wicked Jezebels’ of the world and might just cast you in that category if you aren’t careful.

He might be over-the-top with giving gifts: Don’t take offence, he’s not trying to buy your affection, he is just showing you the level of his affection. Smile prettily, give him a kiss and receive graciously.

Nice guys believe in the rule of reciprocity: Somehow the golden rule has been ingrained in them and to prevent disillusionment, be nice. Don’t take them for granted, they do on some subconscious level expect niceness in kind. Don’t trample on their emotions, don’t belittle, DON’T cheat.

They are usually great communicators: On some level, they are gifted to a greater degree than your average Neanderthal in the language of women. They are able to pick up your moods and intuitively react to them. Appreciate this fact.

Don’t turn their good manners against them: If you are an independent woman, accept the gentlemanly courtesy…the opening of doors, etc. Get used to it. It is a part of them and asking them to stop goes against everything they stand for.

They are from the old school, old souls in a modern world. Think Braveheart, Gladiator type of men. They will stand up and fight for you. If they feel that you have been disrespected, they will want to protect you, beat the shit out of the person dissing you and take care of you.

However, note that Nice Guys have the power to revert to prototype and becomes jerks as well. Don’t think that just because you are dating a nice guy that he is the best thing since sliced bread. First and foremost, he is a GUY, and that my dear ladies, is the greatest irony of it all.

Visit Voxen’s blog Bad Girls Guide