Okay - so this post is going to be a continuation of sorts from the last one...
What I was trying to say - is that I've gotten the "good girl" title pretty much all my life. Back in the day, I was the one guys wouldn't date because I was, and I quote, "marrying material", etc....truthfully, I didn't take it as compliment - just saw it as another way of saying that they weren't interested and they were trying to be nice about it.
However, I know that for a good part of my life, it was just a facade. I wasn't truly "good" in the sense of the word - I was scared. Scared to defy my family, community, and society. I was just talking to one of my friends about this - we did everything that was expected and kept our "reputations" (almost!) intact as expected. Did the majority of things right and by the book. Thing is - I enjoyed the accolades and resented them at the same time. Felt like I had to live up to a certain standard that was forced upon me. Obviously, I chose to take it on, but that's how I felt.
So, when I encounter men who remind me of myself in the above way, I tend to be cautious, and yes, just a bit cynical. Which - I readily concede - is unfair.
4 comments:
I know what you mean about the good/scared thing - for me it was more that I didn't have opportunities to be bad - until college... Did you change after leaving home?
Also, congratson the successful move - wish me luck on mind (Friday, July 13)...
my parents think i'm an angel :D
Funny that guys being the marrying type is a good thing and it doesn turn girls off. ANyway,that was me if from the earlier comment on the last blog and being "good" is a relative term. We all can be good and bad and we only let people see what we want them. I am considered a good guy, but God knows I can be as bad as I want to be. I say this all to say, be you and the real you will always come out
Anon from VA
lol - i thought it was you...and truthfully, you don't fit the "good guy" mold that i'm talking about....lol...no offense... ;o)
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