Glimpses 2

The next installment...

You know, it’s really quite amazing the way that God answers prayers. Every time that I’ve had a question or concern I always receive an answer. Of course, the timing is usually not to my liking, but the response is always there. It’s always interesting to read something that I’ve written in the past, and see how things have turned out now…

In the doc. “My feelings and intellect…” I talk about wanting this guy to be attracted to me. Well, that prayers been answered! And now on to bigger problems…there’s always something else isn’t there…?

To be truthful, I don’t even feel like writing about it, suffice to say, God is in control. And I, who cannot see the future, am going to trust in Him, and allow Him to have His will carried out in my life (hopefully!)…

Glimpses into my Journal 1

Okay, this is for all of you who have wondered how my mind works. You are about to be priviliged! I got a new laptop (yay!) and transferred all my old files to my new and improved one...so, I was re-reading some stuff and came across about 8 or 9 entries titled "My feelings and intellect..."

Obviously, once you read them you'll know exactly what they're about....I'm gonna try to post one a day so that you're not overwhelmed - enjoy....

My feelings and intellect tell me that this is the one. However, I know that God has my best interests in mind…and that I may be wrong in my assumptions. For some reason though, I cannot seem to get him off my mind. It’s not even the fact that I think he’s everything I ever wanted, etc… There’s just that certainty that he and I would make a good team. Lol…problem is, I know how I feel about him, but have no idea about his feelings…. On one hand if he were anyone else, I would definitely say that there have been hints – problem is he’s not anyone else… I don’t know how to read his actions. Thus stated, I may just be inferring things because I want them to be there, and deceiving myself.

I know that he and I are friends – the extent of that though I can’t even say. And I definitely know that he enjoys my company – but, I want him to find me attractive! (smile) I have learned enough in my time to realize that I should not say anything – and I’m not going to make that mistake. At the same time because I have such strong feelings I have the tendency to mask them so well that I appear to have no feelings at all.

So, it’s a little precarious situation. Honestly, I know that a man knows what he wants, and when he’s ready he’ll make his move. And I also know that I desperately want him to want me, so that my emotions may not be a realistic or correct interpretation of our relationship….okay, the wording is odd, but the point is that I don’t want to appear to be like “other” girls. He’s always had women liking him, and having no problem showing him their feelings, but I never like to be compared to anyone else. It’s my pet peeve.

I have constantly been praying about the situation, and asking God to provide me peace and the ability to be comfortable around him. And it’s definitely gotten better, but another problem has erupted. The fact that everyone knows! Of course, this is my fault. I share too many complex relationships with his family….(smile) but it still is kinda annoying…plus, I know that people are talking, and who knows what he knows?!

My friends say that its just a matter of time – I already know his fam, etc…but I don’t want it to be a logical decision on his part per se – I just really want to know that he is attracted to me!! Is that so hard to ask!?!? It is really quite frustrating considering the fact that I tend to be so perceptive with other people, but cannot seem to read him at all! The other night he told me that I’m the one he calls the most – which of course makes me feel special, but is that just because I’m such a good friend?! (big sigh) I don’t know…thankfully, it’s all in God’s hands now….i just need to relax and let Him do His thing, ‘cause I can’t figure this guy out at all….

Ignorance and War

I actually wrote this some years ago - and thankfuly it seems that the tide is finally turning!!!! However, I still come across this mentality - especially in the South and Colorado....go figure.... The irritating thing is that you never (hardly ever) see the wealthy politicians children going to war - they're too smart to put their loved ones in harms way! But if you live beneath a certain socioeconomic level - they are quick to give you incentives --- school, etc....

One interesting fact to note - approximately 80% of the American public are ignorant about policies and political decisions - they vote based on whether or not someone is "charismatic" or looks good in a tie ----- and these are stats pre-Bush era....something to think about, especially since election season is starting....

It’s appears to be an obvious fact that governments manipulate their citizenry into fighting war for political and financial gain. To work towards that end, they habitually incite hate and fear into the general public and then tell them that it is their duty to fight for their nation. When in reality, the average Jane/Joe is fighting and dying for the lucrative gain of the wealthy back home.

However disenfranchised s/he becomes, they must believe that they are fighting for the good of something, otherwise, their suffering is in vain. Therefore, government propaganda tries to instill an innate distrust and distaste for the opposing side. Labels such as “axis of evil” come to mind…all it is is a way of controlling the average, ignorant person, and causing them to believe that the ensuing conflict is a moral dilemma, rather than a political or financial one.

To date, governments have been extremely effective in parroting patriotism and protections as a means to exploit those of lesser economic circumstances. Propaganda through media is so successful that people internalize the news they hear and believe that it originated from them. Moreover, the people in turn become passionate about issues that they are mostly shoddily informed about, and influence others. Therefore, communities become emotionally obsessed and discontinue to reason.

Though the United States may be a “democracy” it is quite apparent that there are a few elite who incessantly influence policy and the media; thus, in many ways controlling the people.

Birthday Calculator

Hey everyone,
This was a weekend straight from the bowels of hell - but I just hung out with some friends and saw Idlewild, which was surprisingly refreshing, and had a fabulous time!!! Anyway, I feel MUCH better!!!! I'm gonna take up a dance class too!

After I got home I got this from my friend Vin…Thought it was interesting…you should definitely try it out…!

Birthday Calculator

Here are some of my results…

28 February 1982
Your date of conception was on or about 7 June 1981 which was a Sunday.

You were born on a Sunday under the astrological sign Pisces.
Your Life path number is 5.

5 (5, 14/5, 23/5, 32/5)
The Life Path 5 suggests that you entered this plane with a highly progressive mindset, with the attitude and skills to make the world a better place. The key word for your Life Path is freedom. In the pursuit of freedom, you are naturally versatile, adventurous, and advanced in your thinking. You are one of those people who is always striving to find answers to the many questions that life poses. The byword for the positive Life Path 5 is constant change and improvement. You want to be totally unrestrained, as this is the number most often associated with the productive use of freedom.

You may be one of the most compassionate of people as the 5 is surely the most freedom-loving and compassionate Life Path. Your love of freedom extends to humanity at large, and concern for your fellow man, his freedom and his welfare, may be foremost in your mind. A great Life Path 5 American President, Abraham Lincoln, issued the Emancipation Proclamation, and ended slavery in America. As the ultimate progressive thinker type, your potential in government, the law, and other positions of authority is unlimited.

You are a good communicator, and you know how to motivate people around you. This may be your strongest and most valuable trait. Because of this skill, and your amazing wit, you are a truly natural born salesman. This ability to sell and motivate extends to any sort of physical product all the way through to whatever ideas or concepts you may embrace.

You abhor routine and boring work, and you are not very good at staying with everyday tasks that must be finished on time. On the average, the number 5 personality is rather happy-go-lucky; living for today, and not worrying too much about tomorrow. It is also important for you to find a job that provides thought-provoking tasks rather than routine and redundant responsibilities. You do best dealing with people, but the important thing is that you have the flexibility to express yourself at all times. You have an innate ability to think through complex matters and analyze them quickly, but then be off to something new.

A love of adventure may dominate your life. This may take the form of mental or physical manifestation, but in either case, you thrill to the chance for exploration and blazing new trails. Surely you belong to a group considered the most worldly and traveled. Clearly you are not one to pass up a good venture. You have quite a lot of the risk-taker in your makeup. If you aren't putting your money at stake, you are surely open to a wide variety of risks in your everyday life. Taking the conservative approach is just not in your nature.

In romance, you hate to be tied down and restricted. This doesn't necessarily mean that you are unfaithful or promiscuous, but it does mean that a good partner for you needs to understand your nature. A relationship based on jealousy and having tight reigns is not going to work at all for you. A partner who understands your need to be free and trusted will find you trustworthy, even if you aren't constantly available and totally dutiful. It is important for you to mix with people of a like mind, and to try to avoid those that are too serious and demanding.

If you are living on the negative side of the Life Path 5, you are apt to be multitalented, but suffering from some lack of direction, and there is confusion surrounding your ambition. Restless, discontent, and impulsive, you may bounce from one job to the next without accomplishing much at all. A negative Life Path 5 can become very irresponsible in tasks and decisions concerning the home and business life. The total pursuit of sensation and adventure can result in your becoming self-indulgent and totally unaware of the feelings of those around you.

Life Path Compatibility:You are most compatible with those with the Life Path numbers 1, 5 & 7.You should get along well with those with the Life Path numbers 3 & 9.You may or may not get along well with those with the Life Path number 8.You are least compatible with those with the Life Path numbers 2, 4, 6, 11 & 22.

You are 24 years old.
You are 294 months old.
You are 1,278 weeks old.
You are 8,946 days old.
You are 214,727 hours old.
You are 12,883,649 minutes old.
You are 773,018,975 seconds old.

Celebrities who share your birthday:
Eric Lindros (1973)
Gilbert Gottfried (1955)
Bernadette Peters (1948)
Brian Jones (1942)
Mario Andretti (1940)
Tommy Tune (1939)
Gavin MacLeod (1930)
Charles Durning (1923)
Zero Mostel (1915)
Earl Scheib (1907)
Linus Pauling (1901)

Top songs of 1982
I Love Rock `n' Roll by Joan Jett & the Blackhearts
Eye of the Tiger by Survivor
Ebony and Ivory by Paul McCartney & Stevie Wonder
Centerfold by J. Geils Band
Maneater by Daryl Hall & John Oates
Jack & Diane by John Cougar
Don't You Want Me by Human League
Up Where We Belong by Joe Cocker & Jennifer Warnes
Abracadabra by Steve Miller Band
Hard to Say I'm Sorry by Chicago

Your age is the equivalent of a dog that is 3.5013698630137 years old. (Life's just a big chewy bone for you!)

Your birthstone is Amethyst

RAGE

I just read a blog that embodies everything that I feel today!!!! I swear as soon as enough time goes by and nobobdy knows "who I am" anymore I'm gonna do a WTF post!

It's all wrapped up with that "Dazed in Confusion" post - now I'm just seeing red angry. My psyche's all screwed - I'm pissed that I may let this affect my future. If you want to screw up your life go ahead - but leave mine the hell alone! And grow the hell up! Life is hard - deal with it. I'm so sick and tired of people running away from problems instead of dealing with them like adults.

Today has just been one of those incredibly and absolutely frustrating days - and if you do know me - please don't call and ask why....(sigh)....when I'm ready to talk I will....

Settling for Ordinary

Have you realized this phenomenon? I know of so many people who end up settling for somebody they don’t really want for a number of reasons. Usually it circles around the fact that they are lonely and longing for companionship.

Sometimes, it’s just to pass the time. But more often then not, it ends up being a long-term commitment that they don’t really want. Hmmm….I don’t know – maybe it’s just a pride issue, and maybe like one friend said – once I hit 27 I’ll take what I can get (highly unlikely!) – but I refuse to waste my time with someone I’m not really interested in.

Too many emotions get involved; people get hurt, etc… (sigh) It’s actually been a long and painful road to get to this point, but regardless of the “You’re too picky” statements, I’m totally happy to be here.

I’d rather wait and take my time till I’m certain that I’m ready to commit – than to play with others in the search to find the impossible “One”. I don’t even believe in the “One” anyway. I have total faith that there is more than one man I can be deliriously happy with! The difference comes in the timing, location, and relationship.

Anyways, it just strikes me as kinda sad. God-willing I won’t settle for "ordinary" - I'm waiting for extraordinary....!

A Healthy Dose of Self-Disclosure

I’ve been asked (directly or indirectly) by a few people about how I can put myself out there – particularly regarding the piece under “Unrequited Love”. Truth is, I like the piece a lot – and I can put myself out there because I believe that self-disclosure is the only way to truly connect with others.

How can I expect people to understand or sympathize if I’m not completely honest with myself?
It has nothing to do with pride or ego – it just is. Writing is fun and therapeutic, and sharing even better :OP. I remember taking a poetry seminar from Amiri Baraka at Oakwood. It was a small group – I think about 10 of us – and while there he asked us why we wrote. When I stated that I wrote for myself – well, he basically yelled at me – saying that I should never write just for myself, and that doing so was selfish. Writers should put down their experiences, feelings, etc….but all in the effort to say what is so for others – not just themselves.

Again, pride in the idea that “he” may read it doesn’t faze me. I have a lot of pride and ego – trust. But it’s also pride in my work that causes me to put it out there. I like it and I hope you do too.

Pet Peeves

Aaaargh....I swear sometimes people are sooooooo annoying!!! I'll explain later.....

Okay - it kills me when people swear they know me! I can be extremely social and open (hence this blog), but that doesn't mean I'm your best friend! Then they have the nerve to get angry at me for not acting how they expect (thnx anon) me to act....dude, I barely know you...!

My friends know that they're my friends - we have a r-e-l-a-t-i-o-n-s-h-i-p. They call me and I call them. If you are the only one calling, then unless I'm insanely busy, I probably don't consider you a friend....okay? Please stop mistaking my "niceness" for something else.

What’s Wrong with ME?!

I was reading Time Magazine a while ago, and one of their cover stories was about "betwixters" – a term that was coined because of people like me. Working adults who are still heavily dependent upon their families, and rapidly changing careers.

It validated my feelings because I realized that I was not the only one in that sort of predicament.

It spoke about us looking for job satisfaction instead of security. Our generation is more concerned with being happy at our place of employment than working at a dead-end depressing job.

Though money is important, it is doesn't take precedence over personal pleasure of our vocations. This seems to be a result of the previous generation’s obsession with purely materialistic gain. After realizing that money truly cannot bring happiness, we are looking for careers that we enjoy and maybe doing some other moneymaking scheme on the side.

Basically, for anyone like me who is struggling to find your niche out there - you're not alone!

Ambiguous Relationships

Okay, let’s talk for a second about those wonderfully ambiguous relationships.

Relationships that are not quite defined, and haven’t been for a period of time. Relationships that we are positive will “eventually” work out into boyfriend and girlfriend status.

I can vividly recall hoping and wishing that if I didn’t push he would realize what an absolute gem I was and want me for himself. Sadly – my fantasy did not coincide with reality. Instead, he just ended up dating someone else.

Why are so scared that if we push the relationship status then they’ll leave us? Maybe we are not secure in the fact that this is an adult relationship. Instead, we are acting as though we can’t handle their disfavor. He is not someone that you must go to lengths to please.

We are forever moping and whining about desiring clarity in a relationship – but if we are perfectly honest with each other sometimes we don’t truly want it. Ambiguity leaves room for hope. If you do ask a man that you are seeing for absolute clarity you are open to disappointment and rejection. There is not one person who willingly desires experiencing those feelings – so for many of us it is far simpler to leave the question unanswered for a bit.

This is especially true if you really, really, really like this particular person. Who wants to erase the possibilities? At least you can console yourself with the fact that perhaps, in the future something may work out. I’m not saying that this is wrong – I’ve been there. Heck, I'm here now. If this is what works for you, tell the truth. Don’t complain to your friends about not knowing where this is going. ‘Cause for now you don’t really want to know. You can confront or keep hoping - either way it's not easy.

World's Shortest Fairytale

LOL! My cousin sent me this forward....

Once upon a time, a guy asked a girl "Will you marry me?" The girl said," NO!" And the girl lived happily ever after and went shopping, dancing, camping, drank martinis, always had a clean house, never had to cook, had sex with whomever she pleased whenever she liked...did whatever the hell she wanted, never argued, didn't get fat, traveled more, had many boyfriends, saved more money, and had all the hot water to herself. She watched chick flicks, never football, never wore freakin' lacy lingerie that went up her butt, had high self esteem, never cried or yelled, felt and looked fabulous in sweat pants, and burped, swore, and farted all the time.
THE END

Dazed in Confusion

Okay, I'm not going to disclose exactly what this was about. But you know when something just throws you for a loop - and you're not quite sure how you should feel? You almost feel absolutely nothing, but are not sure why.... You know it's a humongous deal - but emotionally you remain dettached. Anyways, if you still don't get it, I can't explain...

Frankly, I wasn’t terribly surprised. Or is that simply a subconscious cop out? An internal method of blocking an outer reality? The division of my nature causes me to wonder. On one hand – totally expected. The other – completely bewildering. This paradigm of virtue or ideal example of what everyone should attain to, nothing more than a bleached shell of pretense.

Unrequited Love

Hmmm....which one of us haven't been here at one point or another? I wrote this based on a certain someone - who if he ever reads this will probably recognize himself.... I just got up one morning thinking, and this is what came out.

Out of sight out of Mind...

I love him.

I got my clarity. And I fell harder than before. Essentially, nothing happened. Except – we communicated. Honestly. Finally. And though I was not surprised by the revelations, it solidified the futility of pretending this was more than it was. It is what it is. Out of sight out of mind.

He talked. I incoherently responded. Too tired to clearly verbalize my thoughts. I listened.

Stopped assuming. Stopped pretending. Just listened. And agonized inside. Why God? Why? Why are these disclosures reeling me closer?

I controlled myself. And regretted my resolve. I wanted to give and take. Caress and kiss. But I didn’t. Just lay there. Arm splayed over his chest. Head resting below his chin. Lay there. Feeling his body and trying hard not to move. Instinctively wanting more. But I didn’t.

Later – sleeping. Together. Or at least I tried. Spooning. Him behind me. Cuddling. Futilely providing each other with a remnant of physical intimacy. Leaving me wanting more. Intrinsically craving him. Without satisfaction.

We drove to the airport. Listened to music. Talked. He got out. Came in for a kiss. I turned. Offered my cheek and kissed his. He left. I cried. And cried. And cried again. I’m not settling for a piece of him. I want him all. Whole. Everything. But he’s not available. Only deals with what’s in front of him. Out of sight out of mind.

I long to take him up on his offer. Take whatever he’s offering. But – my heart. My heart.

It refuses to come in a late fourth or fifth in his life. Can’t handle the fact that he’s free to do the same with anyone else. That he might. That he probably is.

There I go assuming again. I told him I always assume the worst. Because obviously it’s not the best. I understand. Him, I mean. Understand that seeing each other sporadically – whenever a pink moon reveals itself – is not enough. Not enough for a relationship. Not enough to commit. I understand. But it still hurts like hell. My ego says that if he cared enough – fill in the blank. Ugly truth is – he doesn’t. Doesn’t care enough to pursue anything. Out of sight out of mind.

Convenient. Obviously – that’s what I am. Blindness that emanates from love. Morphing. Bold. Timid. Resilient. Fragile. Content. Yearning.

I love him.

But it doesn’t matter.

And it never did.

Drowning in good 'ole Colorado, USA

Okay, so I know somebody out there understands!

I am sooooo stuck in Colorado....thing is - I can leave - but.....what if this is where God wants me? That would totally suck - but I have to be open right?

Do you think He's just waiting for me to be satisfied before moving on? I am periodically having anxiety attacks just thinking about staying here..lol...!

I swear I need help....

Body Woes

(Ummm...you may want to close your eyes if you think this pic is too scandalous :OP)

One thing that ALL women share is dissatisfaction with some body part. And I really do mean all women – celebrities included. Even women whose bodies I envy, and un-Christianly lust (in the non-sexual manner) after have something that they do not like.

Basically, the phrase "the grass is always greener on the other side" rings extremely true.

The litany is endless: breast too small, breast too big, big thighs, no thighs, skinny legs, fat legs, no calves, thick calves, and on and on and on. And don't even get me started on skin and complexion.

I mean no wonder – look at what we are bombarded with every day. If we flip through a magazine in line at the groceries, we see these amazingly beautiful women smiling pertly at the camera who seem to radiate with the knowledge of their perfection. Oh, and please – television? Um, like every commercial for the ideal makeup or hair product is all insinuating, "If you use this product, you'll look just like me".

What a joke! I'll never look like her in a million years. First of all I can't afford cosmetic surgery, a personal trainer, and my own personal chef. And even if I did – my pictures are not going to be airbrushed to technical perfection.

I have to be honest, most of the time I cannot look through a Victoria Secrets catalogue without feeling just a little depressed. I can be in a fabulous mood – and then see one of their anatomically correct models and have to give a small sigh "I can never wear anything like that".
And I'm not even taking into consideration if it is indecent or not – the fact is, I would like to know that if I wanted to wear something revealing, I could without having to be embarrassed.

How many of us stand in front of the mirror naked simply looking at our bodies and seeing flaw after flaw? The constant "ifs" pop up: if I could just lose a little weight right here, if only this was a little tighter, if only that didn't hang quite in that direction! I know that you know exactly what I'm talking about. It's actually quite disturbing the amount of time we women find to criticize our bodies. Can you imagine how many hours of productivity are wasted while we dream of our "ideal" body?

Oh, and the bathroom scale!? I mean, what sick mind invented that anyway? Only a completely obsessed and slightly demented person would want to weigh themselves every time they went into the bathroom. It makes no sense to me. Is seeing that you've gained or lost one-third of a pound really that critical?

Now, I'm not trying to offend anyone who is a health nut. I could probably learn a lot from you. My point is that we constantly hold ourselves up to some logically unattainable standards. Most of us are never going to look like Jessica Alba, Beyonce or Jennifer Lopez – period. I don't mean to dash your dreams, but come on let's be realistic. You can be the best that you can be, but you can't be someone else!

On Being Single

Now, I'm sure that we've all been there before. You're walking around by yourself somewhere (incidentally, not in the best mood) minding your own business, when you feel it. Those slight pity glances from smug women on the arm of some guy – whose eyes quickly transmit sympathy before quickly looking away when you return their gaze.

Suddenly you empathize with that solitary gold fish in a glass bowl, being intently studied by five set of children's' peering eyes. And something in you wants to shout "Yes – I'm single, AND!??"

Okay, so maybe I'm being a bit paranoid. But how about those well-meaning older married women at church who whenever they see you are compelled to ask – (every Sabbath!), "how's your love life dear?" in their sugarcoated concerned voices. I, for one, am tired of smiling back and saying as sweetly as possible "nonexistent".

So, I've come up with a new response "It's wonderful, thanks for asking", smile again, and then promptly excuse myself.

After all, Jesus is the lover of our souls, right? And before you sigh and think, "I knew that's where she was going...blah, blah, blah..." and immediately tune me out - I'm not saying that we won't get lonely. I do – often. My point is that we shouldn't believe that we're lacking something because we may not have a significant other.

Truth is...

Okay, let's face the facts. Our society thrives on romantic liaisons. Romance surrounds us daily – we are bombarded with it wherever we go. From books, to television, theater, music, family and friends the ideas of love and intimacy are constantly colliding into us as we attempt to go on with our daily routines.

No matter how hard we try, we can't avoid it. Reality demands that we recognize it for what it is. Within and without the church, romance has taken precedence over the minds of many people.

Truth is, almost all of us want to experience romantic love – men and women alike. And there is nothing wrong with wanting to share our lives with someone. It’s perfectly healthy. In fact, that’s how God intended it to be from the beginning.

But do people have to be soooooo incredibly irritating about it???

100 Things About Me (Inspired by Vixen)

1) I have a sensitive sense of smell.
2) Smelling new tennis balls and tires brings me temporary joy.
3) Writing is therapeutic.
4) I live in my head too much.
5) Reality is overrated.
6) I'm slightly commitment-phobic.
7) I like unavailable men.
8) I detest the fact that unavailable men don't want me.
9) I adore traveling.
10) I thoroughly enjoy socializing and learning about people.
11) I can be extremely anti-social.
12) Definitely need my space.
13) I can't stand cats.
14) But love dogs.
15) However, they don't belong in the house.
16) I'm a SDA Christian.
17) Politically, I'm an independent.
18) I love light and colors.
19) I keep the curtains/blinds closed until a room is cleaned.
20) I can be extremely messy at times.
21) Books are my passion.
22) So are shoes.
23) I compulsively buy both.
24) I don't always read or wear either.
25) My freshmen year of college was done in Trinidad.
26) I lived in Guatemala for 2 months to learn Spanish, but just improved my English.
27) I have a Masters degree in Public Health.
28) I didn't know what public health was until 6 months before I started the program.
29) I find beauty in the outdoors.
30) I want to live in Manhattan.
31) I love the smell of rain on dirt.
32) If I don't check my email daily I feel disconnected.
33) I love Bollywood films.
34) My great-grandparents were from Delhi.
35) I grew up in SoCal.
36) I hated high school.
37) I wish I was a famous writer and public speaker.
38) I want to start a center for girls.
39) I'm not completely sure what I want to focus on.
40) I have a love/hate relationship with NYC.
41) I have a big ego - refer to # 8.
42) I'm always playing different sports.
43) I'm not particularly good at any of them.
44) If I could sing everyone would get sick of hearing me.
45) Obviously, I can't sing.
46) I enjoy driving fast.
47) Apparently, I also enjoyed getting my license suspended.
48) My laptop is a relic from the early 90s - it shuts down sporadically.
49) My parents robbed me - I only have 1 sister - they each have at least 8 siblings.
50) I went to 3 different high schools in 4 years.
51) In 2005 I lived in New York, Colorado, Guatemala and Florida.
52) I get distracted easily.
53) Most of my friends are either foreigners or children of immigrants.
54) I don't understand how some people push anti-abortion but love war.
55) Intolerance and injustice make me angry.
56) Only people I care about can make me really angry.
57) I cut off people easily.
58) One of my all time favorite characters is Elizabeth Bennet.
59) I'm still waiting for my Darcy.
60) Killing cockroaches freaks me out.
61) Snakes are interesting.
62) My sister bought me a python, but I lost it for a day and she took it back.
63) My family means the world to me.
64) I saw Thunder from Down Under in Vegas for a friends' bachelorette party (yeah)!
65) And...took pics with the guys.
66) I tend to be extremely intuitive about other people's lives.
67) For some reason, I seem to give off a special signal for foreign men.
68) I don't know if that makes sense.
69) I've smoked hookah.
70) I think smoking is not only stupid and harmful, but appallingly disgusting.
71) Most of my closest friends are almost completely opposite from me.
72) I love them to death.
73) I won my school spelling bee in 5th grade.
74) But lost district because I couldn't spell "seize".
75) Couldn't get over that "i" before "e" rule.
76) Cut me some slack - I was only 10.
77) Crunching ice used to be an addictive hobby.
78) I've finally realized that I like my teeth.
79) I wore braces for almost four years.
80) Classmates laughed at me and called me chipmunk because I had four teeth removed.
81) Come to think of it, they also called me monkey and gorilla 'cause I wasn't allowed to shave.
82) Told you high school sucked.
83) I prefer Angelina Jolie to Jennifer Aniston any day.
84) My mom never let my sister and I watch cartoons growing up.
85) We used to sneak and watch them anyway.
86) Which explains my current fascination with adult swim.
87) I was born in LBC but grew up in La Sierra.
88) I read all of Uncle Arthur's Bible Stories in two weeks.
89) What can I say? I was a nerd.
90) Hmmm....still am.
91) I'm also extremely goofy.
92) My cousins, sister and I are always making music videos where we lip sync and dance.
93) They play back up to my rendition of Aretha's "Respect".
94) Your chances of seeing it are miniscule to none.
95) I'm running out of things to say.
96) My brain's gone dead - good thing I'm almost done.
97) Oooh, I just made a bet with a friend to date a ----- boy - any takers?
98) If you didn't know it by now - I'm -----.
99) There's 100 percent ----- blood running through my veins.
100) I am completely unique and there's only one of me - so it's okay to be jealous.

Toodles!

Hi

Hey,

This is my second time trying this blogging thing...the first time wasn't too successful - so hopefully this will be much better. I'm gonna publish a grip of stuff from before....so take your time....!

Anyway, I hope you enjoy my thoughts - random as they may be! :OP

Look forward to hearing some feedback.

Ciao!