Jaded Me

Hmmmm….I was re-reading some of my stuff, and I’m getting the feeling that I have a low concept of men. Almost like I don’t take them seriously, that they’re easily manipulated….for example – this little piece that I wrote a while ago…and a couple of my posts from earlier. Whaddya think?

By the way, it was under the subject of "Over-rated Honesty"....

Several people advocate throwing themselves on the altar of truth – while others are active promoters of the feminine mystique factor. So, which is the better method? Should you be up front and tell a man exactly how you feel about him, or should you withhold and play the ultimate coquette – hard to get?

I’ve grown up hearing the mantra that men love the chase – they are the predators and we are the prey. I don’t know about you, but I readily envision a Neanderthal man with long stringy hair, covered in animal skin and wielding an enormous club bellowing in pursuit of the chaste, innocent, woman sheathed in a gossamer gown. I mean, come on – the predator and its prey?! Have we really been demeaned to the animal kingdom?

However, though it pains me to admit this – I can see the wisdom of that attitude. It goes like this: Waaaay too often we put ourselves out there for the man who doesn’t seem to want us back. Unless you are one of the few who have eluded this phenomenon, you understand what I’m saying. If he is actively “hunting” us then we don’t have to worry about feeling wanted. We would already be emotionally secure in knowing that our man wanted us – not because we were convenient, but because he had to work hard for us. Nobody, a man in particular, is going to throw away a priceless treasure that took effort to obtain. Right?

Put it like this. A man sees the car that he wants. He worked hard – to the bone – for two years saving and investing to buy his ultimate dream car. Finally, the day has arrived! It is his – paid in full. He’s ecstatic. He’s more than likely going to name his vehicle, be extremely covetous of anyone who gets near it, lovingly clean it on almost daily basis, and drive “her” around with pride.

Take that same man. His uncle has given him a perfectly good functional Toyota. Not at all a hoopty, but not a luxury car either. It runs well and is always faithful – has taken him many miles and has most of the amenities that any normal human being should want or need. However, he takes this gift for granted, and is always looking enviously to the more lavish models.

Now, I’m not saying that women are analogous to cars! Though sometimes it seems that’s exactly what the media loves to portray. And I’m not naïve or silly enough to say that men are quite that infantile in nature– but male friends have continually informed me that they are ultimately simple creatures.

It makes sense. Yet, it also brings up the extremely controversial matter of “playing games”. Each sex heavily denounces the other playing games – “just be honest”, “straight-up” or whatever variation fits your reality. Basically, we trap ourselves. .......etc......

Oh, and Vixen gave me the Schmooze blogger award!!! But my signal is so low here that I keep gettting cut off every time I try to put it up....I'll do it when I get back home....

Bowling for Embarrassment

So - I neglected to tell you that Saturday night I went bowling. Something I haven't done in ages. I was the second oldest in about a group of 10 people ranging from 21-35. Since you should know by now that I'm 25 - you get the point.

To top things off, I was wearing a dress. No, not a scanty mini, but a full length - really long kinda hippy dress. So, I'm gonna bowl. I find a ball that I can hold and it's my turn.

I go up.....

Do the little crouch at the line.....

Take a couple of steps.......

Swing.....

And.....

Fall.

Yeah - all I felt were my feet going with the momentum of the ball and my butt hitting the ground. In front of CHILDREN!!!! So, I just sat there for a minute, laughed at myself (what else was I supposed to do?), and stood up to see everyone else almost choking on their own laughter. By the way, my ball not only went straight to the gutter, but I also fouled out since my legs were totally over the line.

Lesson learned: leave the heavy balls alone and don't wear long dresses bowling.

Spirituality

Hey everyone – I’m alive and well. Just needed a moment. Anyway, here’s something I’ve been thinking about recently.

You know the whole religious organization thing? I still haven’t found one church that I like. And what I’ve realized is that everyone seems to have an agenda. By the way, I’m talking about Christian churches… They really seem to lack authenticity. And they want to “convert” everyone to their denomination – not to Christianity but to a certain organization.

The God I know is not punitive. And yet, that’s what they teach, if not in word then by actions. Basically, if I don’t go to church or pay tithe then God is going to be angry and punish me. Uh – that’s a total lie. He may be sad – maybe. But not angry. He doesn’t punish me when I do wrong. Yes, there are consequences to every action but a lightning bolt is not going to be thrown from the sky and take me out. That’s utterly ridiculous. But it’s a lie we perpetrate to keep people in line.

Plus, the atheist and others have a point when they say that Christians just seem like a bunch of ignorant followers. It’s what the majority of us do. If we are part of a particular denomination then we are expected to follow everything they do. Not me. At this point I don’t want to be associated with any “Christian organization”.

Right now, I am trying to operate without fear and guilt. If I don’t spend time doing good things, etc… I am no longer “scared” of what will happen to me. It’s unfortunate that we teach such a humungous lie to others just because we can’t understand Someone who loves us unconditionally – regardless of what we do. He loves the embezzler just as much as He loves me. Not more, not less. The exact same. I can’t DO anything to make Him love me or to take that love away. It’s there.

Basically, a lot of people believe in God, but don’t know Him. And I think that there is a HUGE difference in those two words. Am I being arrogant to assume I’m one of them? Yup. Could I be wrong? Sure – but I doubt it ;o)!

Low

K- I've hit a low....I think I'm gonna take a minute until I have something to say...

I'm not depressed, just kinda low emotionally...but I'll be fine...

My Bed

Alright - if any of you look at the time stamp on this thing - you'll realize that it's a little after 2am. And no, I haven't stayed up late like before. Instead I was a sleep by 6pm.

I know. Some of you are jealous. Some are pitying me because obviously I have no life. Whatever. Here's the thing - since my furniture is still in hiding (whole 'nother story), the only thing I have is my bed.

And it's the GREATEST bed in the world!!!! I usually have problems with mattresses - too firm, too soft, etc.... So, because I know that a good night's sleep is absolutley crucial in law school and my mental sanity, I got a memory foam - you know - the one with "Vera Wang" imprinted on it? Which is amazing in and of itself - like why is her name on my mattress???? Is it a selling point? I would of bought it anyway - BUT - it is kinda cool knowing that she's endorsed it - I'm such a moron (cue self-deprecating laughter).

Anywho, with the exception of the floor and some patio furniture - I do everything there. And it's so easy to doze off and not wake up. Which is why I'm watching an old black and white western and telling you all about my bed.

Oh, and if I haven't called you or missed your phone call - sorry - haven't been in the most talkative mood. Still slightly depressed about my furniture.

Are Law Students Emotional Wrecks????

Ummmmm....so I guess it all makes sense now....Type A, neurotic and narcissistic hmmmm???

Take a look at this from the Wall Street Journal - apparently law students are more emotionally distressed than med students...lol...

Which, honestly kinda makes sense. Just to get through an undergrad science major probably (ha!) required a lot more discipline than it took for me to finish International Studies...the whole BS versus BA thingy....

On the other hand, I'm not gonna be ashamed just because I'm more right brained then left...anyway, the comments were cracking me up...

For instance -

"I would guess medical students are less emotionally stressed because they are never asked to be on the side of the disease.Law students, OTOH, are taught from their first high school debate class to argue either side of a question, even if they know what they are supporting is wrong, immoral, dangerous, or just useless. This cognitive dissonance is very stressful for all except those with sociopathic personalities, who then go on the become plaintiff attorneys and politicians.Let’s face it, when you’re trained to be a devil’s advocate, you’re often going to find yourself advocating for the Devil. "

Vernacular Splitting

First off, thanks to Metheus (as you can see - I stole your term...it's catchy) and JustJenny (coudn't find a pic - so I took one from your obsession) for answering my questions! Yay - no more sad/teary smiley face.

According to Wikipedia (the most trusted information site ever!!!) :

Prejudices are abstract-general preconceptions or abstract-general attitudes towards any type of situation object or person.

Stereotypes are generalizations of existing characteristics. These reduce complexity.

I have lots of prejudices....I think that's why I'm living in Nashville, to eradicate some of my misconceptions about the South. I can't remember if I've said that before, but everybody has been absolutely great. The friendliest and most helpful people I've ever been around....lol...

Of course, I'd have to be the cynical "are they for real?" person.....go figure.... And the really ironic thing is that I call myself "open-minded" - but I was only "open" to those who believe the same thing I do/did - it's an ongoing process....

:o(

Okay, so obviously no one wanted to respond to my last post :O(.....and my furniture isn't here yet........ - double :O( :O(......

Stereotypes and Prejudice

(Incidentally - I don't know what this pic means...okay, I'm lying I do...but some of the pics could have been drawn better)


This won't be a long post, I'm trying to jumble too many things together and it's too easy to get complicated. For the record, most of my hits come from people looking for info on ambiguous relationships - I wrote about it when I first started this blog....kinda interesting - I may expound on that one later....but I digress....

Here's my question to you - do stereotypes and prejudices fit in the same category? ASL made the following comment on my last post -

"there are reasons why there are stereotypes... stereotypes exist on the basis of both the stereotyping party and the stereotyped party."

And I replied that I'd have to think about it for a while. Here's what I came up with - in an ideal world there would be no stereotypes, prejudice or discrimination. Obviously, we don't live in a perfect world. So, I'm going to say that prejudice is a natural occurence based on our environment - whether it's race, class, or culture. However, when we allow our prejudice to turn into discrimination that's when we have a problem.

But where does stereotyping fall in this whole setup? Is it wrong, or like prejudice a natural occurence based on experience, media, etc...any thoughts???

My Achy Breaky Feet

So, I was looking up some pics for this post, and I googled "sore feet" and this pic came up.....uh - do you see how the black man is portrayed?????

Originally this post was going to be about how I dropped my car off at the dealership downtown around 1130 this morning and decided (unwisely) to walk back home not arriving here till now - 430pm. I was going to regale you with stories about the scorching sun, taxi drivers who tried to "pick me up" rather than do their job and the many interesting sites that I saw along the way.

However, this picture trumps all that. At first I thought that it was his pet monkey, and now I see that I was wrong. It's supposed to be a cartoon about Sinbad and his adventures. But I am sadly reminded of "blackface" and all that it entailed...as well as the fact that I'm living in the South.

And then I thought about all the stereotypes that abound. And thought about how during my long walk I encountered a group of young blacks who were loud, and in my ears their Southern voices/drawl/slang was unintelligible. And how I immediately assumed/judged that they were uneducated and reinforcing negative stereotypes. The same stereotypes that I seem to believe and agree with….