Apparently, this is a well-known fact that I just learned about. It makes sense actually. Complete sense. Here’s how it came about – so I was discussing with some of my friends (male and female) about why certain well-educated men seem to end up with less educated women. In truth, we were talking about people we know and what this phenomenon is about.
I remember being slightly younger, and having women a couple of years older than me look at me in disgust as the taker of “their men”. I, and women like me, was dating the guys there age who were leaving them out in the cold. I thought it was funny – obviously I was offering these men something they were not getting from their peers. But now I find myself understanding those same women’s concerns!
Ironically, I generally can’t take men my age or even a couple years older seriously. However, I am seeing it for myself more and more. Highly intelligent and successful men dating women whose ambition and “station” (I know – totally snobbish) in life, is decidedly below their own. But now I get it.
Women marry up and men marry down. I’m still trying to figure out all the reasons that this statement is true. Of course, it’s not absolute, but there tend to be few exceptions. The usual occurrence is that a woman marries a man a couple of years older than herself. Is it because we mature faster? Is it because we find it easier to respect a man older than ourselves? Do men do it, simply because the younger woman is more pliable and willing to please them? Is because they don’t want to feel threatened by their wife’s intelligence? Or is there some other factor that I’m overlooking?
Please – help me out here – I need some feedback.
I remember being slightly younger, and having women a couple of years older than me look at me in disgust as the taker of “their men”. I, and women like me, was dating the guys there age who were leaving them out in the cold. I thought it was funny – obviously I was offering these men something they were not getting from their peers. But now I find myself understanding those same women’s concerns!
Ironically, I generally can’t take men my age or even a couple years older seriously. However, I am seeing it for myself more and more. Highly intelligent and successful men dating women whose ambition and “station” (I know – totally snobbish) in life, is decidedly below their own. But now I get it.
Women marry up and men marry down. I’m still trying to figure out all the reasons that this statement is true. Of course, it’s not absolute, but there tend to be few exceptions. The usual occurrence is that a woman marries a man a couple of years older than herself. Is it because we mature faster? Is it because we find it easier to respect a man older than ourselves? Do men do it, simply because the younger woman is more pliable and willing to please them? Is because they don’t want to feel threatened by their wife’s intelligence? Or is there some other factor that I’m overlooking?
Please – help me out here – I need some feedback.
5 comments:
older men rock. they're intelligent, accomplished, sophisticated and generally don't play the bullshit cards that boys our age do.
i think a large part of it is simply due to the higher maturity levels of women. i've sworn off guys my age (well, i say that. actual practice is a different story) because they just seem so, well, naive.
older men know what's up. they're good in bed. their shit is established. they still dick around and do typical guy things, but they're probably not gonna blow you off for beer and chicken wings with "the boys". they'll let you know ahead of time or invite you along. they aren't threatened.
that being said, i think there is merit in the claim that men are somewhat threatened by women their age who are at the same level educationally as them.
guys want to feel like they're contributing. they want to feel like they're teaching you something -- no one better than a young spring chicken to dump all that knowledge on -- and bed her at the same time.
i think women, generally, when it comes to a partner anyway, want to learn. we want someone that we can explore, and frankly i think older guys are just "deeper" -- there is more there to examine and pull knowledge from.
at least i think so. now if i could just SHAKE these idiots my age and follow my own theories.
hey! yeah i'm from UM law, i love it! If you have specific questions or anything, send me an email to jk2066@law.miami.edu.
great points - i do want to respect my man!
Ok, now for the guys observation. Unfortunately, I can only tell you from me and my friends perspective but not all guys want to date or marry down. Women that are younger play the same games and do the same stupid stuff as the as guys their age. Many don't know what they want and that gets on REAL MENS nerves as well. I won't disagree with being an exception to the rule but I also think it has to do with how you were raised and what things you look for in a women
I don't like having to teach women different things, i want an intelligent women at my level, so we can talk about things that are important like religion politics, social issue, reltationships, etc. Most women unfortunately do mature faster but not all me are less mature than women their age. I am tired of dealing with the younger women. I don't know if their is any other feedback i can give you but realize that not all men are the same and the REAL ones aren't afraid of a women with intelligience
Anon from VA
Thanks Anon - totally refreshing to know that there are "real" men out there who are not intimidated by a woman on their level...too bad their aren't more of you!
Confident men are hard to find these days...maybe we will be like the Huxtables...lol...
Post a Comment