Only 15 percent of Americans admit to letting their feelings out often although 80 percent believe it’s healthy to do so. Letting it Out in America
Okay - so I have a problem. Again. I've realized that I don't grieve appropriately. Huh?
Let me explain. When things happen (sad, bad or unfortunate things) in my life or in the people I love I tend to mentally/emotionally disassociate. I'm there in person, but I'm not really there. I comfort and support, listen and talk, but I don't allow my true emotions out. And then - maybe a week or month later I feel overwhelmed and breakdown crying - usually in my car.
I've talked to countless friends and family about this and all, including myself, agree that I need to be more honest with feelings and not hold back. My question is how???? I always feel that my feelings are inconsequential when compared to some of the things they are going through - and that once again, I need to be the strong one. And yet, I know that I have to deal with things to be healthy as well....sigh...I need to learn how to let go. I've gotten better in my communication thing, but still not letting the emotions show.
Just kinda impassive until I'm alone. Hmmmm...any advice?
6 comments:
i'm content being void of emotion... go with it and you'll get used to it ;-) in seriousness, you nailed it - be "honest with [your] feelings". sometimes that includes not feeling what others (or yourself) think you should feel; that is as artificial as pushing your "honest feelings" away. how 'bout that for twisting vernacular?
Nothing wrong with emotional detachment. Different people deal with pain in different ways. As long as you realize that you will eventually have to address those pent up emotions. Ideally you'd want to deal with those emotions in a controlled environment, as opposed to breaking down whilst you're driving or at work. So it's best to set aside some "ME time", with an appropriate support network, an just let your hair down.....
Sometimes it's best to wait till you're alone because then you can really let your emotions out - but yeah, schedule some me time, and not in the car! =)
Seriously, we can't control our emotions or make ourselves feel the right things at the right time. If you're thinking about it that's a good thing!
Thanks everyone - totally appreciate the input. I'm gonna work harder not to constantly repress and invalidate my feelings. ;O)
BTW - I use the word "totally" quite often don't I??? lol - You can take a girl out of Cali...
i'm glad my post entertained you so much ;-) I was considering emailing it to you, or doing something else to keep it relatively close to the vest... oh well.
As far as Cali goes, i left to take care of some "short-term" stuff and expected to be back after 12-18 months. That was 5 years ago. My path back to the left coast has taken a few major detours ;-) Still aiming to be back, though
I dissociate too...I've always done that. It's hard because the Boyfriend is so in touch with his feelings. I want to be that open in times of distress, but I'm a chronic dissociator
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