More

Didn't think it would hurt this much. Or consume me this much. I like to tell myself that it will pass with time. And I'm sure it will. Eventually. But now.

Now it hurts. Hurts to realize that things have to change. Can't live in my dream world anymore. Have to let go. The tragic thing is that I don't know how much not being enough and loneliness contribute to my feelings.

Rejection. Couched in other terms. Feels the same. I just can't seem to get it right. I trust. Believe. Hope. Try to go with the flow. But it doesn't matter.

I want to be able to inspire passion. Companionship. Fun. Comfort. I just want to be loved. Just like everyone else I suppose. And of course, the ones you want never want you back, while there are others who would love to have your attention. Saying all the things you wish he was saying. But isn't.

I don't want to become calloused. Don't want to say "f$ck it" and settle for someone I don't want. I'm tired of being Ms. Commitment Phobe addicted to Mr. Unavailable.

I want more.

Random Cartoons

GRADES!!!!!

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.........................................................................

Nothing Better to Do

Well, the holidays were good. Too short. Of course. And now back to school.... I'm now getting the "not caring" attitude. Actually - I already have it. It's great seeing everyone and hanging out, but studying??? Annoying.

One bright spot - going boarding this weekend. Classmate is celebrating her 25th in the mountains...kinda exciting. Nice to get away (even though I just got back). Anywho - life is far from interesting at this point. Or better yet, too interesting to write down ;o).

Oh, and do parents ever stop trying to guilt-trip you???!!! Mine are so incredibly irritating. Do they really think they can scare me into adhering to their belief system? Blah.

Did I mention that I'm a Leanne Rimes fan? Love her new CD.