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Sorry guys....I'm at a total blank right now...when I have something to say - I'll be back...until then, check out the Indian commercials my friend Priya sent me out of sheer boredom...lol....

Babies, Babies Everywhere

I am SURROUNDED by babies. Not children. Babies. And/or expectant mothers. My neighbor, whose oldest child is 27 just had a baby. My cousin who just hit 40 is having a baby. Two of my friends just had the cutest little boys a couple of months ago. My (redacted) is about to have a baby. Like dude - is it baby season or what???

They are adorable - but make realize that I am NOT ready for one...the work - crying, holding, changing, needing your complete attention...I am not ready. Give me a couple years - then I might be in a better mood...lol...

Road Rage

Okay - the MOST hilarious thing happened today. So, I'm driving to my doctor's appointment, chatting on the phone with my sister. I get to my exit - which is kinda strange - it merges with another street on the right. Anyway, there was another person coming up in this red truck with his indicator on - apparently trying to merge left while I was trying to merge right. And me, being the wonderfully polite person I am, decide to slow down and let him over.

Well, who told me to do that??? Next thing I know this dude stops immediately to my right blocking traffic and starts yelling at me. I'm surprised and like "what the hell?". Couldn't tell if it was a he or a she with a really bad mullet. But whatever...I keep on exiting. Dude pulls up behind me at the light and gets out of his car, yelliing some more. I'm still on the phone, roll my eyes and make sure that I lock my doors.

Anyway, long story short - I'm moseying along and he comes up besides me rolls down his window and gives me the most hilarious and extra "F you" I've EVER seen! Like his hand is totally extended and vibrating in his anger and his mouth opens like some aggravated wild boar.

So, what do I do? Do I return the finger, keep driving and ignore him? No. I pull up next to him and roll down my window. As I open my mouth, he screams "Why are you rolling down your window/pulling up to me", or some other variation - and I say - get this -

"I'm sorry. I thought you were changing lanes." As I shrug my shoulders, look on sadly with wide eyes, and wave contritely. You should've seen the look on this guys face. Classic. "Oh" - and a wave and he's off.

Alright - so I can't really describe it...but take my word - it was hella funny...

It's always so satisfying to "pour hot coals of fire on people's head"...lol...they usually feel like idiots... :O)

Live Passionately

Work like you don't need money. Love like you've never been hurt. And dance like no one's watching.

Okay - I know that I have to stop these morose posts...so here's the thing: a play cousin was supposed to get married this weekend. His fiance was graduating from med school this Saturday and the wedding was slated for Sunday. Well, her father just died of a heart attack today - totally unexpected. And to top it off, almost a couple hours later, one of her bridesmaids got hit by a semi on her way to the wedding and was killed instantly.

So - remember those lines in Hitch - Life is not the amount of breaths you take, it's the moments that take your breath away.

Enjoy it!

You vs Me: Two Sides to Every Story

You know how you can’t ever tell someone something without making yourself look like the “good guy”? Why is that?

Even when I purposely try to take full responsibility and state my faults upfront I still end up appearing more genuine or mature than the other person. When deep down I know that is exactly how I want to come across. I want to be validated by whomever I’m talking to. And – if I state my faults first they are usually less likely to surprise and/or hurt me with their opinions of a situation. Either way – I seem in control and emotionally healthy. What is that all about anyway? Am I just so analytical and competitive that I have to see all angles of an issue before I talk about it???

Is it possible to truly denounce yourself? Or is it just a power trip? Knowing that by appearing to have truly thought an issue out and taking responsibility for your “not so good” actions that people in turn assume that you are admirable. (If you can unravel my meaning out of that last sentence please explain it to me). Or is this just me taking things too far?

I'm Back...

Hey all,

As some of you know I was in "The City" for a bit. It was great. The weather was absolutely gorgeous - not too hot, not too cold - just that middle of the road, gotta be outside weather.

I was there for a friends graduation. It was loooong and quite boring for the most part, but it did have some good parts...the main speaker was a guy named Larry Silverstein. An apparent billionaire who owns probably half of the city along with Trump. I guess he was the founder of the Masters in Real Estate at NYU - and he was/is the leaseholder for the WTC...yada yada yada...

Clearly, I never heard of him before their commencement, but his message was inspiring...and after reading the comments on my last post - I decided to share my newfound ...da da dadum...wait for it -----

OPTIMISM!

Lol...he talked about success and work ethic and how crucial it is to keep moving forward and being an optimist. Then he said something that felt like it was directed solely for me - He said, that the main thing that will hold you back and stop you from coming forward is - Cynicism...lol...yup, cyncism.

That cynics rarely are truly successful/happy with their lives because they are constantly complaining and masking it as reality. In his viewpoint, cynics can never be leaders because they have no message to give - just limitations. Well, that really hit home. Even my friend who was graduating said she thought of me when he made those remarks.

So, I'm announcing it here. I am doing my best to see the positive and live a more relaxed life. Of course, I don't think change comes over night, but I'm gonna do my best! (See extra exclamation points - I'm starting to the process already!) lol...

Show Me

(sigh) So I just got home and checked my email - I've been doing it almost incessantly while I'm waiting to hear back from some lenders - and anyway, I saw an email from the John Legend site....

Yes. I am in love with John. Particulary after seeing and hearing in concert. He's absolutely fabulous - and any naysayers can keep their opinion to themselves!

Okay - back to my story. I opened his site and saw a link to this which he spoke about during his concert. Here's the thing - it's incredibly moving, but I don't feel the same way I used to when I look at the pictures. It's beyond sad really.

I remember when I first started my graduate program I was so excited that I was going to change the world and make an enormous difference to hundreds of thousands lives. Eradicate poverty. Feed the hungry. Clothe the naked. Heal the sick. Alright, so I had a bit of a God-complex. But I was ready. Ready to do my part. Get in there and help out those in need.

My friends and I used to talk about the Chair of our department at the time. How she was so removed from the field and had lost her compassion. She had this hardened edge about her. She'd been doing global health work for about 30 years at the time. Extremely knowledgeable, but just, I don't know - hard.

I'm getting to my point - I promise. The thing is, after being in that program for a while - traveling to developing countries - learning and seeing the preventable poverty and unnecessary deaths - left me almost broken. I had an extremely hard time coping. As a result, I built up some sort of callous outlook. A numbness really. Knowing that no matter how much some individuals do - it's always going to be like this. Always going to be the rich versus the poor. The haves and the have-nots.

Sure - I can spout the altruistic notions of all of us working together and getting along - but it's not reality. We're out to take care of ourselves. Our loved ones. If we can help others on the way - great! But, usually not if it directly interferes with or takes away our needs, or wants. Which is why I do understand the human need for something more. A perfect afterlife - where all this corruption and hatred don't exist. I get it.

And now - I've almost completely gone of topic. My point is - that professor? I get her now too. It's not a pretty thing when idealism and naivete clash with reality. The problem is finding a balance. Not stopping because of all the depressing and horrendous things in the world, but moving forward regardless. Knowing that even if it's small, you made a difference in someones life.

Check out Vonumu International. It's a terrific and totally inexpensive way to help eduate some kids. And yes - they are reputable. One of my good friends knows them personally and they send you updates and information all the time...

Night all...

Dramamine

So, I realized yesterday that I get motion sickness. I knew that I had a slight case before on the winding roads of Madagascar (don't you love the sneaky way I put that in there?) - but I thought it was a one time thing.

So the idea of getting into a tiny Cessna with my mom and dad didn't faze me one bit. My dad recently got his pilot's license and was anxious to show us his skills by taking us for lunch in Fort Collins. Uh - for clarification purposes - Fort Collins is maybe a 2 to 3 hour drive from where we live - and I could be exaggerating greatly, but the point is we don't usually go there.

Anyway, going up wasn't frightening at all. It was a beautifully clear day and I could see how extremely flat Colorado is. Honestly, I was more concerned for my mom who is afraid of heights! Long story short - after maybe ten minutes of being bumped in the wind, I started sweating profusely and feeling like I wanted to throw up. I ended up putting back my seat, tuning out the radio and going to sleep. I woke up just as we were about to land.

The moral of the story? There is none. Next time I'll just take some Dramamine...

By the by, (what the hell does that mean???) in case you wanted to laugh or be offended - check this out...